Things I'm good at doing...

Since moving out of my parent's house and into my own apartment I've learned that I am REALLY good at wasting time. Practically a genius. I've always been fairly relaxed and content not really doing much; however, I have reached a whole new level. Today I woke up at 10, showered, ate some Cup Noodles while surfing the internets and reading Oprah. Then moved to my couch and clicked the TV on...I didn't move from the couch till now (that was only to take myself and my laptop to bed) except to eat and go to the bathroom. I can plan a whole day around the TV...no problem. Which is actually quite pathetic, but it makes me happy. It's finals week and I have a lot of work to get done that should have been done much earlier in the semester on top of preparing for final exams and working on an Econ paper I haven't even begun to research. Did I do any of that today? Nope.

Instead I watched Alexa Chung, Ellen, random shit on MTV, Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, So You Think You Can Dance, Glee, Top Chef, then the Ruins. Soooooo many hours, gone. This can't be good for me. Also I managed to toss out moldy cheese and a moldy cucumber, I might as well throw my dollars into the fireplace.

Oh yeah, this was supposed to be about things I'm good at doing. Aside from wasting time away, I'm pretty good at listening and making people happy. A lot of people nickname me "Sunshine", making people happy makes me happy. If I were in a Phillip Pullman novel my daemon would most definitely be a dog. I'm good at spending money (even though I rarely have any) I'm good at making cookies. I don't know, my mind wanders I'm getting all preoccupied with other things. Thanks ADHD brain. Besides, I'm not very good at going on and on about myself, kind of contradicts this whole blog thing but whatever.

The fuck? I guess I'll just have to try again tomorrow, and until then cuddle up with my Marketing book to try and read 5 chapters before I pass out.




I just want to quit everything and follow The Avett Brothers around the country...that would be a happy life.

Purpose

New blog. For no particular purpose but with the hope of an escape. Like right now, I should be studying for a test I'm taking tomorrow night. It's just that accounting is so dreadful I'd do just about anything to distract myself. Oftentimes I think I might lead the most boring life of anyone...ever. I tend to hole up in my apartment and haven't met anyone in the city I just moved to. I have lived there since August...it's weird. I leave a lot on the weekends. I don't work...which is steadily becoming a very large issue. I'm thinking that by writing it all down and sending it out there I might become accountable for the life I've created for myself. It has all been a choice, and my family has allowed me to make these choices. Sometimes I wish they would have smacked me upside the head and sent me in the right direction. Instead they supported me as I meandered my way around and stumbled into this and that. Sometimes I think I'm heading the right way these days, but more often than not I'm still feeling lost. I don't know how to get found.
Life's been weird to me lately.
I've watched Alzheimer's steal my grandmother away from me. Now it's taking my grandfather too. It raises all sorts of questions about love, family ties, marriage, devotion, and doing what's right (if you can even figure out what is "right" to begin with). It's a blessing and a curse to have them live long enough that as a girl of my early 20's I'm close enough to them to be truly affected and genuinely upset at what is happening to them. Nursing homes are an ugly place to be, I think seeing them in these places is what led me to my major of Health Care Administration and a hope that maybe I can get in there and affect positive change in how they are run. Half of me can remain optimistic while the other half runs mental commentary of "you're insane to think you can help fix this cluster" but I feel compelled to try. It's the first inkling of a career path that I have ever felt any pull towards and that's why I following it...even if I have to take accounting to get there.