For Lori Cheng

So I tried to do this earlier, I think the wine was running interference on my competency, but Lori Cheng inspired me to try again. Therefore, this post is dedicated to her. Even though I haven't seen her in, what feels like epochs. Really I'm just ready for Thursday morning to get here, because the arrival of Thursday morning means I get to check out for 4 days. Not really since I'll still have things to prepare for that must be taken care of on Monday etc. at least I'll be on my way home for some sort of a break. My sister and Grandfather are celebrating birthdays (as mentioned in previous post) except now Grandad's celebration will take place in his nursing home since he fell again and is in no state to be moved around. This is a major disappointment because I was just praising the staff for keeping him in his chair and off of the floor. Although the facility is extremely understaffed and there are others there that demand more attention it's still no excuse. The past 7 months have been amazingly eye opening with my personal experience in dealing with nursing homes and Medicare as well as what I'm learning in my classes. Obama managed to get his health care package through congress...but I really don't even want to go into my feelings on that right now.

I want to focus on what I'm going to do with my life for the next 4 days. Tomorrow, well today really, I've got an early morning date with my friend the gym, a group meeting at 1 to make sense out of a senseless project, class at 5:30, then a sleep out to raise awareness of homelessness in the area. It's going to be a long day. Thursday puts me homeward bound with a pit stop in Destin, and hopefully a strong drink and a sunset on the deck. Friday=Julia makes it home along with the arrival of Uncle John, Aunt Janet, and Becks. Third Eye Blind is playing club La Vela on Saturday night. Now as a life rule I've decided that it is in my best interest to NEVER step foot in that establishment since I would most likely leave with a gnarly case of herpes, 4 hickeys, and a baby. But I might have to change my rule, because really...3EB, in PCB, at CLV? Can't really say no to that. Apparently they have a new album coming out? This makes me wary because what I really want is a greatest hits kind of a show, not a showcase of their new jams which may or may not be decent. Maybe I'll cruise over to their myspace later and check it out. Anyway, let's not forget the most important part of the weekend...the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ and the end of my abstinence from MEAT! I can't wait to put bacon on everything, and eat chicken nuggets, and rare steak. Om nom nom. Also, I want some deviled eggs which is weird because I've been eating lots of them for protein and junk for the past 30 odd days.

Let's see, some things I'm looking forward to...the end of this semester on the 28th, a possible visit from Anna B. before the month is out, Tara and Coty's wedding on the 1st of May, and the ultimate "looking forward to" date December 3rd, aka graduation or FREEEEEEDOM after I get my hands on one of these puppies. And the final cessation of pointless, headache inducing group work. And I will no longer have to create a presentation directed at John Mackey, CEO of Whole Foods, on how I believe he could be managing his company better. Because, clearly, I am well equipped to do this. But that's all boring and useless, and I'm trying to get into a happy place. That project is the antithesis of a happy place.

Regardless, it's now almost 2 am and 7 am is approaching fast, and I've spent too much time on this post already. I must remind myself that in the end this will have been worth it, that it was the right decision, and that these experiences are helping to shape me. Or some garbage like that...really it's all about these people below, I want to make them proud and shower them in love. I wish I could embed music on this thing...I probably can and just don't know how...why must I shuffle between the tumblr and this.
"We came for salvation/We came for family/We came for all that's good that's how we'll walk away/We came to break the bad/We came to cheer the sad/We came to leave behind the world, a better way"

Hey March

So, kind of forgot about/felt like I was terrible at this whole blogging thing. Finished my finals, went home for Christmas and never looked back...until now. 2010 marked the beginning of seeing the light at the end of this damned tunnel called getting a Bachelors degree. I'll be finished in December which is like...only 9 months away. If people can grow a baby in this amount of time I can surely pass all my classes, and the end result is much less painful. There are about 6 weeks left in this semester and I'm at the halfway point in most of my classes. It always feels like the halfway mark comes so much later than it should.

Anyway, lets think of fun things I've done in 2010. Started the year out in New Orleans with the family, super fun. We went to the Sugar Bowl to watch Tim Tebow play his last game with the Gators against the Cincinnati Bearcats. After that I promptly rushed down to Gulf Shores to see Blaire get hitched and then booked my butt back here to start classes. It's been pretty much the same routine ever since. Class on Monday and Wednesday night, exhaustive job searching (none of which are working out, but with one interesting series of interviews) and visits home to see the fam including the Gog and Grandad. The nursing home Gog is in FINALLY got her medications balanced out so she's back to babbling nonsense instead of being all zombiefied. Definite improvement. Grandad's nursing home has also managed to keep him from falling and he is in MUCH better shape all around. The big man is turning 80 on the 4th of April, and sissy turns 21 that day too, AND it's the date we're celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ. It's going to be a busy weekend. Tampa Hamms are coming into town...it's going to be a party.

Yeah...back to Februrary...which was a month of insanity. First weekend went to see John Mayer in Jacksonville...also happened to be sitting in the 4th row. Sweet, sweetness. Weekend after that headed up to Birmingham for Miss Laura McCraney's Deb ball, it was SNOWING and I was riding in a party bus...it was an eventful weekend. Weekend after that headed BACK to B'ham this time with mom and sister in tow for Sarah Jane and Taylor's wedding. Got to see Susan and Jennifer as well which was great. Then Uncle John taught sister and I how to make a proper martini (aka Gin on ice with bleu cheese stuffed olives) while watching the Winter Olympics. This activity then prompted mom to nickname us the "Gin Twins" which was funnier Saturday night because Sunday morning came fast and early, thank God for sunglasses and Dunkin Donuts drive thrus!

Tonight marks the last day of my "spring break" which was spent job hunting and working on a group presentation. Big party. But even though I didn't get to have much fun at least the weather has been beautiful and I think it's safe to say that Winter is OVAH!

On that note, it's time for bed...this whole spring forward thing has had me all messed up today. And also I've gotten back into the nasty habit of staying up until 3 in the morning for no good reason. Early morning, more jobs to apply for, group meeting, class, study session, and the list goes on, and on...and on...

Things I'm good at doing...

Since moving out of my parent's house and into my own apartment I've learned that I am REALLY good at wasting time. Practically a genius. I've always been fairly relaxed and content not really doing much; however, I have reached a whole new level. Today I woke up at 10, showered, ate some Cup Noodles while surfing the internets and reading Oprah. Then moved to my couch and clicked the TV on...I didn't move from the couch till now (that was only to take myself and my laptop to bed) except to eat and go to the bathroom. I can plan a whole day around the TV...no problem. Which is actually quite pathetic, but it makes me happy. It's finals week and I have a lot of work to get done that should have been done much earlier in the semester on top of preparing for final exams and working on an Econ paper I haven't even begun to research. Did I do any of that today? Nope.

Instead I watched Alexa Chung, Ellen, random shit on MTV, Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, So You Think You Can Dance, Glee, Top Chef, then the Ruins. Soooooo many hours, gone. This can't be good for me. Also I managed to toss out moldy cheese and a moldy cucumber, I might as well throw my dollars into the fireplace.

Oh yeah, this was supposed to be about things I'm good at doing. Aside from wasting time away, I'm pretty good at listening and making people happy. A lot of people nickname me "Sunshine", making people happy makes me happy. If I were in a Phillip Pullman novel my daemon would most definitely be a dog. I'm good at spending money (even though I rarely have any) I'm good at making cookies. I don't know, my mind wanders I'm getting all preoccupied with other things. Thanks ADHD brain. Besides, I'm not very good at going on and on about myself, kind of contradicts this whole blog thing but whatever.

The fuck? I guess I'll just have to try again tomorrow, and until then cuddle up with my Marketing book to try and read 5 chapters before I pass out.




I just want to quit everything and follow The Avett Brothers around the country...that would be a happy life.

Purpose

New blog. For no particular purpose but with the hope of an escape. Like right now, I should be studying for a test I'm taking tomorrow night. It's just that accounting is so dreadful I'd do just about anything to distract myself. Oftentimes I think I might lead the most boring life of anyone...ever. I tend to hole up in my apartment and haven't met anyone in the city I just moved to. I have lived there since August...it's weird. I leave a lot on the weekends. I don't work...which is steadily becoming a very large issue. I'm thinking that by writing it all down and sending it out there I might become accountable for the life I've created for myself. It has all been a choice, and my family has allowed me to make these choices. Sometimes I wish they would have smacked me upside the head and sent me in the right direction. Instead they supported me as I meandered my way around and stumbled into this and that. Sometimes I think I'm heading the right way these days, but more often than not I'm still feeling lost. I don't know how to get found.
Life's been weird to me lately.
I've watched Alzheimer's steal my grandmother away from me. Now it's taking my grandfather too. It raises all sorts of questions about love, family ties, marriage, devotion, and doing what's right (if you can even figure out what is "right" to begin with). It's a blessing and a curse to have them live long enough that as a girl of my early 20's I'm close enough to them to be truly affected and genuinely upset at what is happening to them. Nursing homes are an ugly place to be, I think seeing them in these places is what led me to my major of Health Care Administration and a hope that maybe I can get in there and affect positive change in how they are run. Half of me can remain optimistic while the other half runs mental commentary of "you're insane to think you can help fix this cluster" but I feel compelled to try. It's the first inkling of a career path that I have ever felt any pull towards and that's why I following it...even if I have to take accounting to get there.